Then friends, now friends

When I was in highschool, I was close with a group of about 15 people. I was especially close with about 5 of them. We hung out a lot, laughed a lot, had numerous inside jokes, and even occasionally shared important conversations.

I thought "these are friends I will never lose."

It is less than four years since I graduated from highschool, and I have not seen one of my close highschool friends in at least two and a half years. I have spoken with only two of them in the last year, and that only on facebook. I attempted to make plans with one of them, but it just never worked out.

I sometimes read the facebook pages of those I used to be close with and wish I was still a part of their lives.

It's my fault, really. At least partly. It certainly has some to do with moving away for school when most of my friends stayed at home. But it also has to do with making my family the ultimate priority when I am at home. It has to do with being too lazy to make an intense effort to see these old friends again.

I just spent a night with some of my friends from college. This year has been difficult in that we have had much less time to spend with each other. Tonight, though, many people were there that had not been around for a long time. We all laughed together and even shared some important conversations. Despite not being together all the time, we are able to be the friends we have always been. This is incredible to me.

And I am terrified.

I am so worried that I will graduate and not see or speak with these closest friends of mine again. I regret so much not being close with my highschool friends anymore. I don't want to regret the same thing with the friends that I have now.

I'm not going to be lazy. I don't care if we're all living all over the world.

I wonder if, were I to have an opportunity to be with my highschool friends again, we would be able to be the friends we always were.

I pray with fervent prayers that I never lose my friends now.