My heart is covered in excrement

Sometimes I feel like I'm digging through the manure pile that is my heart and shoving all the shit that resides there elsewhere.

That's what prayer is like sometimes.

Dig. Hey, God, my friends are leaving at the end of the year, and I can't take it. Slop. Here. You take it.

Dig. Hey, God, I can't figure out my semester. Slop. Why don't you?

Dig. God, money sucks and I don't want to deal with it. Slop. Can you fix that?

I'm trying to dig out all of the crap that's there in order to find something that is supposed to be beautiful. When I dig it out, I don't know where else to put it except at God's feet. It's ridiculous that he's willing to take it, but he does.

I still feel like my heart is covered in shit, but it gets better. With every shovelful I know that God is on my side.